Why?

Why? A question we hear all to often, sometimes coming from a young child curious about life's little things or sometimes coming from an adult pondering life's horrible and unexplainable things.

The latter form of why is one that has been running through my head for the past 7 days. Why? Why is it a young man only 24 years old has been taken from this earth. Why did this have to happen, why why why? Joshua Peters is the brother of a classmate of mine who was tragically killed in a snowmobiling accident last week. I never was able to meet him until today, at his funeral. Not exactly what I or my classmates had in mind for our first meeting of this man who Jackie spoke so highly of and looked up to so much.

When we started school last year one of our first projects was to make up a poster of the things that defined us as a person in hopes that it would give us a chance to come together in this new found 'family' and learn a little about each other. I remember clearly Jackie's presentation of her poster. It was filled with off road vehicles, motorcycles, ATV's etc. all of which had her or her brother on them. She preceded to tell us the story of her and her older brother growing up in Colville riding motorcycles, snowmobiles and the like. She told us that the sole reason she decided to enter in to the PTA program was because of her brother, Josh, and all of the bones he had broken in his life and injuries he had encountered. She told of his love of life and 'no fear' attitude. How he loved to be on the edge and lived each moment to the fullest. Little did I know that a year and a half later I would be hearing those words again, this time at his funeral.

Today was quite possibly one of the hardest days of my life up to this point. My classmates and I all drove up to Colville this morning despite the freezing rain and snow. There was little that would stop us from making the trip. We all needed to be there for Jackie.

Nobody likes funerals, they are horrible no matter what spin you try and put on them. I know that they should be a celebration of life etc. etc. but how do you find the strength to do that when the man you are mourning is only 24? My faith in God tells me he is in a better place and has served his purpose here on Earth. My heart on the other hand has a very hard time watching a friend of mine go through such agony. To sit in that town hall today surrounded by what appeared to be over a couple hundred people and watch a family so devastated and torn apart just about took it out of me. I like to think I am a pretty strong person and am there for my friends when they need me but days like today just throw me around the emotional roller coaster like a tumbleweed in a tornado.

I will be the first one to admit that I am a pretty emotional person to begin with, I tell my friends and family I love them and want to give or receive that hug in times of need. Today though will make that need even greater. I found myself on the way home wanting to talk to and see certain people in my life. I am fortunate that those people are here in town and I could do just that. I am so blessed to have such great friends and family and only hope that I have and can do as much for them as they have done for me. Days like today make me realize how much we have to tell our friends and family that we DO love them and not to just assume they know. So I guess my reasoning for writing all of this down is to not only get it out on paper but to remind anyone who happens to read this to hold close those that you love and remind them how much they mean to you. Tonight you may be tucking your children in to bed or curling up in bed next to your husband or wife, some people tonight will not have that pleasure, for some no longer have that person in their life.

I never had the pleasure of knowing Josh while he was alive but today I learned a lot about a man I would have loved to had the chance to know. His family is in my prayers.